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"Oh no, make no mistake about it, this could be the season from hell,"

"I mean, Manchester City have won the title [by 19 points], theyve won two trophies.

"If Liverpool now win the European Cup and Chelsea beat United in the FA Cup final, to be honest I might go travelling for a year to somewhere where theres no Wi-Fi or phone signal.

"Actually, there might be a few million United fans joining me. What dates the Champions League final? May 26th? Weve all got a charter booked for the 27th of May.

"There will be a million flights booked out of Manchester to the forests of the Amazon. Were out of here, were gone."

"Lets just live in hope that Manchester United win the FA Cup and Ronaldo our friend and boy Cristiano turns up, scores a lovely little hat-trick, puts us out of our misery in the second half and lets us relax,"

"Nah, I mean Liverpool have done brilliantly to get to a Champions League final.

"I just dont want them to win it!